Welp, against all odds, it has finally happened: Bill Cosby’s ass is going to jail.

On Tuesday, the 81 year old comedy icon was sentenced to 3 to 10 years in state prison for the sexual assault of Andrea Constand, just one of his nearly 3 dozen accusers. A judge has  named America’s black sitcom dad G.O.A.T. a, “sexually violent predator,” and ruled that he is to undergo monthly counseling for the rest of his life. Should Bill Cosby ever see the light of day as a free man again, his name will appear on a sex offender registry which will be sent to residents and schools of any neighborhood he moves into.

While I could never have predicted that Cosby would ever see a day behind bars, what has happened since in a categorically predictable fashion, is the Huxtable Hive whipping itself into frenzy over it… Just as they did back in April when it was reported he was convicted… Just as they did when he was charged… Just as they did in 2014 when all his skeletons started trending on social media after a fellow comedian joked about it.

Let’s go over a brief history of arguments made by Cosby stans to explain away why dozens of women are telling the same lie about a perfectly innocent man, starting with the questioning on why it took so long for them to report their assaults.

How many times over the past few years have you heard/read the words, “30 year old accusations” uttered in regards to Cosby? There are memes demanding that the woman who caused Emmett Till’s death be prosecuted, following the logic that if Cosby can get got over decades old crimes, then anyone should be able to get it. I’ve seen posts demanding that someone be held accountable, in 2018, for rapes that happened during slavery (*deep sigh* niggas are actually suggesting that the federal government prosecute the federal government based on a state court decision to indict and convict a celebrity sexual predator… I don’t know how some of these people walk upright).

The problem with all this – I mean, besides the fact that the entire narrative is straight out of the rape apologist playbook for victim blaming and that there are volumes upon volumes of writings floating around the interwebs  by actual assault victims and other experts explaining all the perfectly understandable reasons women are slow to report their rapes – is that, in regards to the case that brought Cosby to justice, it’s all fucking irrelevant because the only crime he’s going to jail for allegedly happened, not 30 years ago, but 14.

Andrea Constand  first accused Cosby of assault 2004 (the same year it allegedly took place). A judge decided there wasn’t enough evidence to bring criminal charges (another judge decided differently 12 years later), so in 2005 she took the famed actor and comedian to civil court where the case was settled for close to $3.4 million. I don’t know if y’all are doing the math at home or not, but (lean in close if you don’t mind) THAT AIN’T FUCKING 30 YEARS!!! *ahem* Ok, let’s move on.

Then, of course, there was the infamous allegation that Cosby is being brought to ruin because he tried to buy TV network, NBC.  This particular conspiracy theory is especially funny to me because, at the time it started floating around, I’d gotten so caught up in the sheer absurdity of its premise (that some nameless, faceless “powers that be” organization didn’t like the idea of an octogenarian black man at the lowest stage of his relevance buying a television network, so they conspired to pay or coerce 50 plus women to lie and say he drugged and raped them…. Bruh, y’all niggas watch too much “Scandal”), that it was weeks before I even bothered with the 5 minutes worth of googling it took for me to fact check the claim in the first place.

It turns out, of course, that it was all bullshit and that the truth is Cosby hasn’t put in a bid to buy NBC since 1992 when the network’s worth was estimated at around $4 billion and Cosby’s net worth was an estimated $300 mil (don’t laugh, that was a lot back then). So even if NBC was for sale at the time, which it wasn’t, Cosby couldn’t afford it, thus, there would be no need for an elaborate scheme to shut the deal down; a simple, “nah” would suffice. But hey, don’t let a little thing like facts get in the way of a narrative that sounded asinine even without the existence of said facts.

So now we’re left with black people’s current go-to deflection: What about the white sexual predators?

And what about them? What about Louis C.K., Kevin Spacey, Casey Affleck, Harvey Weinstein and the rest of the deviants who fell from grace with the avalanche from the Mount Olympus of pervy white men as a result of the #MeToo movement? How come they all roam free while the black man gets convicted? There are a number of reasons why this argument, too, is… well… dumb….

First, there’s Harvey Weinstein. Back in April, when it was reported that Cosby was officially charged and would be standing trial, Weinstein’s name was in the mouths of every Cos’ fan with a cape on looking to deflect their way into a plausible defense by crying, “How *sniff* come *sniff* Cliff *sniff* *sniff* err.. umm.. I mean, Bill can be charged while *deep sob* Harvey goes free?” But just a month later, when it was reported that the disgraced film producer *was*, in fact, being charged with the sexual assault and “forcible rape” of two of his alleged victims, and then later it was reported that he’d be facing additional charges behind a third victim, it was all “crickets” in these hoteptopian internet skreetz.

Harvey Weinstein is currently facing enough rape and assault charges to earn him life in prison and, while it’s always possible he won’t serve a day, the point is that the sudden silence of all those calling for his head on behalf of Cosby is telling. It’s almost as if none of them ever really gave a fuck about Weinstein being held accountable for his crimes or about justice for his victims at all. It’s as if “what about white predators?” is really just a petty, deflective, childish, “tit for tat” argument being made under the guise of advocating a color blind justice system.

Secondly, this argument ignores that there are accused black men like Russell Simmons and R Kelly, the Pied Piper prince of pissing pervert pedophiles (that’s damn near every “P” word except “prosecute”), who also continue to evade punishment.

Lastly – and I don’t know if y’all noticed this, but – Bill Cosby is old as fuck! He’s significantly older than all his creepy white counterparts that black folks fear have gotten away with all their past transgressions. Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that Cosby is guilty of everything he’s been accused of. This would mean he got all the way to the ripe old age of 81 before finally getting his comeuppance. If the rational being used here is that white supremacy is what brought the black man down, what the hell took so long? Since when does white supremacy run on CP time? Couldn’t we all agree, at least, that it normally doesn’t operate this way? I mean, a nigga don’t get away with 30 years worth of dodged accusations and then, suddenly, in the twilight years of both his life and his career, BOOM, white supremacy to the rescue! That just ain’t how it works.

Thing is, at this point, it ain’t about, Bill Cosby, it’s about his willfully ignorant defenders. It’s the intellectual dishonesty and laziness that grinds me. It’s the fact that most of #TeamPuddinPop hasn’t bothered learning even basic details of this case or the history surrounding it, and yet they’ve decided unequivocally that Andrea Constand and all these other women (whose names they don’t  know) are lying. They know nothing and yet they’re out here dusting off their Law & Order SVU degrees, doing all of these deranged mental gymnastics and bludgeoning our news feeds to death with their pseudo expertise. They pretend to be interested in raging against the very real racial disparity in our justice system, when really they’re just lamenting the disgraced legacy of a black icon… which I get. But in doing so, they’ve shown they’re willing to sacrifice victims and potential victims and, ultimately, they find themselves arguing that black men should be able to rape as freely as white men. I’m over it.

Mostly, I’m just tired of seeing shit like this. ↓↓↓

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